The Urge To Fit In! – Peer Pressure in Teens
- Jyothi Bhat
- Aug 26
- 4 min read
Adolescence is a crucial period in your life, a make-or-break age, if you will. And you can imagine how stressful the teenage years can be; to ease the burden a bit, we need friends.
Remember the days when you just feel so worn out or not in the mood, but just hours of yapping with your best friend or a casual brunch with friends fixes you in the right way. From personal experience during my 10th boards, which is a milestone for any kid in India, stress and pressure are excessive from parents, society, teachers, and even oneself. Study hours and notes just piling up as days pass, but amidst all of this chaos, my calm was my friends. Just sitting in class, gossiping or playing hangman or dumb charades, was so relaxing (even more relaxing than a massage). The laughter and the jokes refreshed everyone and gave a breather from all the tensions.
Strong friendships offer young people companionship, support, and a feeling of belonging. They can promote healthy behaviours, and research indicates that positive friendships during adolescence can set the foundation for successful relationships in adulthood.
But sometimes making friends is hard……………
The people you are friends with or want to be may not always be the right ones for you. As they say, everything comes with its pros and cons. Sometimes the very friendship that uplifts one can also be responsible for making one feel bad about oneself.
Making friends during the teenage years is hard. A lot of us tend to pretend to be somebody else just to feel accepted by a group of people who we consider friends. Statistically, around 41% of teens struggle to conform to social groups. The need to fit in manifests as pressure to do something which one might not want to do willingly.
This pressure is known as peer pressure…………….
We often view peer pressure as overt, yet it is typically subtle. It's not always expressed verbally; sometimes, it manifests through actions that create a sense of pressure. For example, while peers may not directly push you to drink alcohol, their behaviour can make you feel out of place or different simply for choosing not to. This isn’t an isolated incident but can occur repeatedly, leading to feelings of embarrassment that may eventually cause someone to conform.
Adolescence is like walking on a suspension bridge, which requires balance and management among various aspects like career, school, peers, and family. It is also a time when we leave the comforts of childhood and slowly begin to realise the hardships of life. During this phase, we tend to drift from our family and desperately look for friends, and in that desperation, many tend to succumb to peer pressure.
Peer pressure often pushes teenagers to adopt negative habits like smoking, alcohol, or drug etc. Consciously, all know the maleficent effects of these addictive substances, but just to fit in or seem cool, one tends to participate in their consumption and gradually gets addicted.
Peer pressure isn’t solely about adopting negative behaviours; it can also involve pretending to enjoy things that don’t resonate. It's akin to leading a facade to fit into a group. Many have observed that teenagers with low self-esteem often adjust their preferences to align with their friends or present a different version of themselves to gain acceptance and appear "cool." In doing so, they risk losing their individuality, which is the core of being authentic.
Like, you force yourself to watch any trending series or movie like Friends or TVD (PS – I haven’t seen either, so don’t come at me), which you may not like or regularly do activities that your friends enjoy but not you, so that you are a part of the group.
Social Media has exacerbated the issue of peer pressure. People tend to post most of their happy moments, which at times manifests into a certain urge to do the same things and post about it to attract people, or in general, just portray that one is cool.
For instance, one’s friend group enjoys café hopping or trying new places, but one cannot afford it daily; just to be a part of the group or satisfy others, one tends to continue it, ending up draining one’s budget.
Since we have seen the consequences of peer pressure, let's understand in which kind of teenagers peer pressure is more prominent. Teenagers who have low self-esteem. Self-esteem is the way one values oneself. People who tend to associate their worth with the acceptance of more people tend to succumb to peer pressure. They feel that after gaining more friends, they can get rid of their issues, but end up dealing with more like loneliness, anxiety and fear of not being accepted because of their choices. This can result in greater self-discontent, further diminishing one's self-esteem.
In navigating the challenging landscape of adolescence, it's important to remember that peer pressure is a common experience that many, if not all, teens face. While it can sometimes lead to negative choices, it also presents opportunities to cultivate resilience and self-awareness. By understanding the dynamics of peer influence and recognising the value of staying true to oneself, you empower yourself to make choices that reflect your authentic identity.
Surround yourself with friends who uplift and celebrate who you are, and don't be afraid to stand apart when necessary. Remember, it’s okay to say no and prioritise your values over fleeting trends.
Because
A higher quantity of people does not always ensure a better quality of happiness.
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