Holy Cow! The Rise of Alternative Milks

One afternoon, you go grocery shopping with Shelby, your new vegan roommate, and you skim the dairy section, instinctively looking for some whole milk-your reliable breakfast staple. But you clearly forgot your vegan friend was right next to you. She was eyeing the familiar faces you’ve never said “Hi” to.

Out of curiosity, you read the label on one of the cartons: Oatstanding.

“It can’t possibly taste that oatstanding," you mutter.

Shelby remarks, “Hey! That’s my go-to! Maybe you’ll like this one better.”

You look at the carton she holds up: Going Nuts!.

“I may go nuts drinking whatever almond-water thing that is!”

“Nancy, it’s not as bad as you think.” She then glances at another carton. “Oh wow! I’ve never seen this one before.”

Lo and behold, it’s something you thought you would never see before, rightfully named: Pealieve it or not.

“PEA MILK?! I CAN’T PEALIEVE IT!”

“Relax! I’m not paying seven bucks for it anyway,” she says.

“There’s just so many different types of milk nowadays and I don’t know anything about them. Breakfast just got a LOT more complicated,” you admit.

Shelby then grins. “Welcome to Plant Milk Planet! I’m Shelby, your tour guide, and by the end of this trip, you’re gonna know everything about these wacky milks. We’ll talk about taste, nutrition, and everything in between. Buckle up!”

After buying six cartons, you head home. Shelby sets up in the kitchen, which now looks suspiciously like a science lab.“Alright, Nancy,” she begins, scribbling on her whiteboard, “The goal of alternative milks is to mimic regular milk, but with allergies, intolerance, and dietary choices in mind.”

“Is there a big nutritional difference?” you ask.“The main things are protein, calcium, vitamins, and sugar and fat content,” she explains. “Whole milk’s higher in protein and calcium, but it also has more sugar and fat. Most plant milks are fortified and have less saturated fat and cholesterol-so for some people, they’re a healthier choice.”

She writes LACTOSE in bold.“Oh yeah!” you say. “That’s only in animal milk!”“Exactly. Lactose is dairy’s natural sugar, but some people can’t digest it because they lack lactase which is the enzyme that breaks it down. Hence the bloating.”“Yikes. Good thing they’ve got drama-free options.”“Right? That’s why plant-based milks blew up. They cater to everyone.”

Then comes the taste test. Shelby lines up the milks like a proud scientist.

“Forget wine tasting! Who needs that?”

You still have a look of uncertainty. “Maybe I need one after drinking all of this “milk”.”

Shelby says, “Oh come on! You can’t even tell some of them are plant-based. Let’s start with the familiar one: whole milk!”

You down that one easily. “Mmmmm! It’s creamy and rich.”

Shelby nods. “Right! That’s what makes coffee smooth and mac and cheese velvety. It’s super versatile when it comes to cooking or baking but the lactose may not be for everyone.”

“Let’s do the oat milk now. I’m curious why you like it,” you say.

“You’re gonna love it!”

You both take a sip of the oat milk and your face turns from slightly nervous to a smile.

“It’s actually pretty decent, Shelby! It tastes like oatmeal runoff.”

“It’s everyone’s favorite! It’s great for lattes since it froths beautifully and it’s quite eco-friendly.” Shelby hands you another cup. “This is almond milk.”

Your smile goes back to confusion.

“Too nutty. People drink this in coffee?”

“Haha! There’s actually a special barista blend for almond milk that works better in coffees. It’s also used in smoothies and overnight oats. I think you’ll like the next one better.”

You take a sip of the soy milk. “It’s a bit beany. Isn’t soy milk quite healthy?”

“It is! It has a higher protein content and it can be used in coffees and baking. Fun fact: soybeans are really easy to grow.”

You glance at the next carton. “Okay. I know I’ve kinda been a hater this whole time but I actually really like coconut milk.” You take a sip. “Yum! I love coconut milk in Thai curry.”

“Me too! It’s also great in soups and desserts because it’s sweet and creamy.”

Finally, the most dreaded carton. “I better not turn into a pea pod after drinking this.”

Shelby still seems excited. “Here goes nothing!” Both of you taste it.

You say, “Woah. Not that bad. It’s thick, like cow’s milk”

Shelby replies, “There’s a slight aftertaste but it’s not bad. It’s packed with protein and apparently good in coffee because it’s quite neutral-tasting.”

“Never thought I’d say vegetable milk was decent.”

Shelby smiles. “Same here!”

You guys clean up the messy “science lab”, putting the cartons back in the fridge, which looks more like a mini dairy aisle.

“See? It wasn’t so bad,” Shelby says.

You nod, “Cow’s milk’s still my fav but some of the others were decent.”

“That’s great to hear! Just remember that all milks serve different purposes and you have to choose your go-to based on multiple factors like taste and your food choices. The future of plant milk’s looking very bright, thanks to a growing interest in health and sustainability. I think Plant Milk Planet’s about to get a LOT more visitors!” Shelby laughs.

You laugh back, “I’ll give my travel experience 5 stars!”